


Twisted Joke

by LadySkywalker77



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, Unbeta'd, they're idiots your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 04:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30066660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySkywalker77/pseuds/LadySkywalker77
Summary: Based on this prompt:Ben confesses his love to Rey, she laughs in his face because she assumes he is joking.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 146
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	Twisted Joke

His palms are sweating and his heart feels like it’s about to leap out of his chest. He considers backing out. To let Future Ben deal with this. 

Except, he’s already done that so many times before, and he can’t keep being around her like this. He has to tell her. Because he can’t keep pretending. Because she deserves to know. And maybe, just _maybe_ , she’ll give him a chance.

But the truth is, he’s terrified. He’s terrified that she’ll say she needs space and then she won’t want to be in his life anymore. Because one drop of her sunshine is still better than the darkness that was his life before he met her.

Maybe he shouldn’t get greedy. Maybe a better man wouldn’t. And just like every other time he’s tried to do this; he begins to wonder if he even deserves her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

He looks up at her sitting across the couch. Her feet are tucked under her thighs. She’s wearing sweatpants that are probably two sizes too big. She’s beautiful. 

_Just say it._

“I— I need to tell you something.”

She sets her book down on the coffee table, a worried expression playing on her face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I— Nothing’s wrong. I just—”

He practiced this little speech in his head. He knows what he has to say. It’s just so much harder to think when she’s right here with him. He closes his eyes because it’s easier than to look at her bewilderment.

“You’re my best friend, Rey. And I would never, _ever_ want to do anything that would change that. But the thing is, I can’t keep pretending—” _Just fucking say it._ “I can’t keep pretending I’m not _disastrously_ in love with you.”

And there it is. The words are out. He can’t take them back. He planned to say more but his heart is beating out of his chest and the words don’t seem to come to mind. He forces himself to look at her again because as terrified as he is, he has to know what she’s thinking.

Her mouth is hanging open, and for a split second, he thinks she looks like she’s about to cry. But before he can discern what that could possibly mean, she bursts out laughing. “Where the fuck did this come from?”

Out of all the scenarios he tried to prepare himself for— anger, sadness, resentment, even flat-out rejection— this is by far the worst. Because it’s as if the mere idea of _them_ was ridiculous to her. And she laughs that beautiful laugh of hers.

Who would have thought his favorite sound in the whole world would be the one to break his heart?

She keeps laughing until there are tears in her eyes and she keeps having to wipe them away. “That’s some twisted fucking joke, let me tell you.”

_Oh god. She doesn’t even believe you._

He buries his face in his hands. He thinks about playing along with her, pretending this is all some fucked up game. But he can’t. He can’t even control the way he’s breathing or the way his eyes sting. No. He has to leave. Take whatever shred of dignity he has left and go home. He can contemplate his idiocy and let his feelings run free in his own apartment over that bottle of whiskey he knows he has somewhere in his kitchen. Not here. Not in front of her.

She’s still chucking when he stands up. “Ben?”

He grabs his jacket as he walks toward the door. He doesn’t bother putting it on before he opens it.

“Wait— where are you going?” She’s not laughing anymore.

His back is turned to her and he can’t bring himself to face her anymore. “I wasn’t— it wasn’t a joke, Rey.” He can’t help the way his voice cracks when he says her name. He knows running away now makes him a coward, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He has never felt more pathetic than he does as he shuts the door behind him.

***

His heart is beating so hard that he misses the sound of a door opening behind him and the barefoot steps that follow him down the stairs. He barely makes it to the first landing before he feels her hand holding his wrist.

“Ben. Wait. _Please_.” He doesn’t have to look at her to know that she’s crying. He hates that it’s his fault. “Ben. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Please don’t leave. _I’m so sorry_.”

“ _Stop_. It’s okay. I understand.” He does. She’s the kindest person he knows. Whatever pain he feels right now doesn’t matter. He knows she didn’t mean to hurt him.

“No. You don’t Ben,” she says. “Please look at me.”

“Rey—”

“ _Please.”_

He doesn’t want her to see the tears that have gathered in his eyes, but he could never really deny her anything. She cries a little bit harder when she sees just how wrecked he is. And the hand that’s not holding onto his wrist rises to his chest.

“I need you to understand. _Really_ understand. I fucking hate myself for laughing. I promise you, it wasn’t because I thought what you said was funny. At all. I just didn’t— I couldn’t believe you because I—”

“I get that. I know you weren’t expecting to hear it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew I was going to fuck up what we had. I just— I’m sorry.”

“ _No._ Don’t you fucking dare be sorry. Now listen to me.” She fists her hand, pulling the fabric of his sweater like it’s a lifeline. He wishes more than anything that it meant something. “I never thought it was even remotely possible for you to feel the same way I feel. And when you said that you did— I couldn’t believe it. And I didn’t want to cry in front of you so I— _God_ I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry I fucked this up.”

“What?”

“Ben, I’ve loved you since always.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“You— have?”

“ _Of course,_ I have. How could I not?”

Well. Ben can think of about eight million ways to answer that question, but none of them matter to him right now. “Say that again.”

“What?”

She doesn’t let go of his wrist even as he raises both hands to cup her face.

“Say it again.”

Understanding dawns on her face. “I’m in love with you, Ben.”

Out of all the scenarios he didn’t want to believe were possible, this might just be the best. Because she’s not just giving him a chance. _She feels it too._

Only Rey could have the power to break his heart and put it back together in an instant.

“Okay,” he chuckles. “Good.”

And then he kisses her.

It’s slow and soft and it tastes a little bit like tears. He’s not sure if they’re his or hers but it doesn’t matter because he’s kissing her and she’s wrapping her arms around his neck and it’s perfect.

In the end, she’s the first one to pull away. Her arms are still wrapped around him and he can’t stand up straight, but he doesn’t want to anyway because she’s resting her forehead against his. “Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

He would have thought that part was obvious. But maybe she just needs to hear it. “Always.”

“Okay,” she smiles. “Good.” She keeps smiling as she grabs his hand and drags him back to her apartment. As she shuts the door behind them and leans against it. As he rests both hands on either side of her head and kisses her again, with a little more force this time.

She keeps repeating his name in between kisses as she leads him into her room. She keeps whispering that she loves him as tears run down the sides of her face and her nails run down his back when he presses her into the mattress with long, slow thrusts. He kisses the tears away as he tells her how perfect, how unbelievably beautiful she is, how good she feels.

How he wants to be with her always.

And when they’re both lying side by side with a blanket barely covering their naked bodies, he asks her out on a proper date.

This time, when she laughs it makes him smile too. She kisses him again and he takes that as a yes. 

They drift off to sleep tangled around each other.


End file.
